words + photography DAVE WADE

It’s the age old story: A lonely turtle, looking for love in all the wrong places, leaves the pond, heads for the shore, gets in over his head. A genie suddenly appears and grants him three wishes: a ride, a photo op and placement in a hip fashion magazine ... but the turtle smells a rat—or is it turtle soup?—and makes a break for it.

Looking over his shoulder, he sees the mollusk brigade slowly closing in.

Remembering the tortoise and the hare tale, the turtle heads to the nearest bar to order a cool one and sit this one out! No need to get caught up in someone else’s fable ... and besides, snail shells are no match for his.


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